My 2010 Mock Draft

Hi friends and new friends!

My name is The Knight who says Ni!, Mr. Bungle, Elitist Blog Club Member, Tryptich, Draft The BPA, and more. I spend approximately 15 hours per day posting comments on Miami Dolphins blogs and forums, so I am pretty much an expert on the NFL.

Thousands of you have been waiting for my 2010 mock draft. I spent many weeks researching teams and draft prospects, so I know you will appreciate all of my hard work.

Here's my 2010 mock draft!

1 St. Louis Rams - Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma; I predicted this many years ago.

2 Detroit Lions - Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma State; Matt Millen loves wide receivers.

3 Tampa Bay Bucs - Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech; From now on, this Buccaneer shall be named Captain Morgan. Aye, matey.

4 Washington Redskins - Tony Romo, QB, Eastern Illinois; This is the most brilliant draft choice ever. Only a couple of people know this, but Romo was never drafted, so he is still eligible to be picked. The Redskins need a QB, so why not draft one that will also hurt a division rival?

5 Kansas City Cheifs - Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska; This guy totally looks like he loves to eat barbeque, so he’s a perfect fit in KC.

6 Miami Dolphins from Seattle - Eric Berry, S, Tennessee; Pete Carroll trades an unproven pick for excellent guard Justin Smiley and his former USC wide receiver Patrick Turner, a potential future Pro Bowler.

7 Cleveland Browns - Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan; Mike Holmgren definitely favors dudes with moustaches, so Graham will need to put away the razor. Also, I think Holmgren might be holding a woman captive in his dungeon basement, so if you live in Cleveland, maybe you should contact the police.

8 Oakland Raiders - Carlton Mitchell, WR, South Florida; Al Davis really doesn’t like Michael Crabtree’s bitchy attitude, and this pick will stick it to Crabtree again.

9 Buffalo Bill - Tim Tebow, QB, Florida State; Bills general manager Jim Kelly really likes Tim Tebow. Plus, Buffalo is populated by a lot of bad, awful people, so maybe Tebow could teach those people to be nicer and better behaved.

10 Jacksonville Jaguars - Joe Haden, CB, Florida; The Jags wanted Tim Tebow. Instead, they get the next best thing.

11 Denver Broncos from Chicago - Rolo McClain, ILB, Alabama; Nick Saban was also a little dictator so Rolo should get along well with Josh Daniels. Also, Rolo is an excellent candy and people in Denver usually like good quality candy.

12 Miami Dolphins - C.J. Spiller, RB, Clemson; Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams are excellent, so maybe this Spiller guy could play fullback for the Dolphins.

13 San Francisco 49Niners - Jason Pierre Paul, DE, South Florida; Players from Florida schools are usually pretty good in the NFL, so this is a lock.

14 Seattle Sea Hawks from Denver - Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma State; Okung will protect Matthew Stafford from getting hit so many times.

15 New York Giants - Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa; A buluga whale is as big as a giant, so this Buluga belongs with other Giants.

16 Tennessee Volunteers - Dan Williams, DT, Tennessee; I’m not sure if Tennessee really even needs this position filled, but he is very familiar with the area, so he’d probably always be on time for practices, etc.

17 San Francisco 49Niners from Carolina - Jermaine Gresham, TE, Oklahoma; Mike Singletary is still mad that Vernon Davis cried when Singletary dropped his pants and showed off his weewee.

18 Pittsburgh Steelers - Mike Lupati, G, Idaho; I’m pretty sure the Steelers always draft an offensive lineman in the first round.

19 Atlanta Falcons - Pass. The bad economy has definitely hurt team owner Arthur Blank, who also owns struggling home improvement store Home Depot. It’s highly doubtful Blank could afford to take on a big, first-round salary this year.

20 Houston Texans - Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers; I live in New Jersey so this is kinda neat.

21 Cincinnati Bengals - Gerald McCoy, DT, Oklahoma; Cincy isn’t really too, too far from where the original McCoys battled the Hatfields, so he’ll fit right in with his hillbilly ancestors.

22 New England Patriots - LeGarrette Blount, RB, Oregon; A sneaky thug for a team of cheating thugs with thugs fans who don't properly pronounce words.

23 Green Bay Packers - Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame; Brett Favre is still playing the yes/no retirement game, but the Packers can’t wait forever for his decision.

24 Philadelphia Eagles - Bruce Campbell, OT, Maryland; If McNabb leaves, this guy is the obvious replacement for him in Campbell’s Soup commercials.

25 Baltimore Ravens - Earl Thomas, S, Texas; Ed Reed is getting old and his beard is a little frightening. I love Ed Reed and all, but I’d be scared if I saw a guy with a beard like that when I was walking down the street, especially at night, and I'd assume he was going to try to kill me.

26 Arizona Cardinals - Taylor Mays, S, USC; Ken Whisenhunt asks, “Mother, Mays I?” Yes you may, Kent!

27 Dallas Cowboys - (I will try to add this pick later. I got really tired and couldn't think any more.)

28 San Diego Chargers - Terrence Cody, DT, Alabama; Dudes in Southern California love big boobs.

29 New York Jets - Trenton Williams, OT, Oklahoma; Trenton is the capital of New Jersey. The Jets are based in New Jersey. It would be sad if this doesn’t actually happen.

30 Minnesota Vikings - Golden Tate, WR, Notre Dame; I don’t know, but I really like his first name. It sounds very sparkly, like a holiday.

31 Indianapolis Colts - Colt McCoy, QB, Texas; If you saw the Super Bowl, you know it’s time for Peyton Manning to go. (Plus, he'd be Colt the Colt.)

32 New Orleans Saints - Arrelious Benn, WR, Illinois; If the Saints want to win again, they have to get some weapons for Drew Brees.

I hope you liked my mock draft. Let me know what you think! Keep checking back for more excellent updates. Plus, I may issue an updated mock draft in the near future if things change.